I am exhausted of running,
Always away from and never towards.
Any doubts I had about that way to live,
I silenced with my own words.
For if I do nothing,
Nothing I do can be said to be wrong.
But to simply refuse to choose,
Can only go on for so long.
I found something wrong
With every choice and every path.
I ran from every battle,
Afraid of the aftermath.
Even my fights with myself,
I escaped with a sleight of hand.
Hiding myself from myself
In ways even I didn't fully understand.
I thought if I don't participate,
Nobody can say that I lost.
But my own chances at every win,
That is the price it cost.
I hid my own doubts,
With moralistic grandstands.
I judged other peoples choices
Not knowing why they stand where they stand.
But I'm ready to take it on now,
And see what I can do.
I'm ready to stop fleeing,
And find a place to run to.
After years on the sidelines
I'm jumping into the race.
After years of blacks and whites
I'm embracing my greys.
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